So, obviously there is something I am not good at: blogging. I was supposed to post a new blog like a month ago and I have failed. I am very lucky that Bex does not hate me yet. Anyway, since I am feeling so down on myself for not being good at blogging, I decided to write about things I am good at: sweet nursing skills.
I'm not talking about obvious skills like inserting a Foley catheter or performing CPR. I'm talking about the real skills that nurses need to have. I've started a list (I like lists) of skills that every nurse should have, and I expect to add to it as I learn more.
Improvisational Craftiness
This comes in handy when as you mix an IV antibiotic the hook that holds it to the IV pole snaps off. What do you do? Why, you hold it together with about 27 label stickers, of course! I once saw someone (she was a physician, gasp!) make a cast out of tongue depressors and gauze in the jungle. I aspire to reach this level of craftiness someday.
The Ability to do Important Things with One Hand or in the Dark or Both
You have to know how to do this because sometimes your other hand will be covered in shit. Literally. Oops, I just said the S word! Or, more importantly, you might be holding pressure on someone's wound trying to stop the bleeding while simultaneously opening yet another pack of gauze and hitting the call light. A better skill might be to just grow an extra hand. The 'in the dark' part comes with working night shift. You really don't want to turn on the light when you walk into a patient's room at 3 am because if you do they will probably wake up and will probably need pain medication and it will probably be some weird amount that requires another nurse to witness you so that you don't become a druggie. So, you have to be good at doing things like hanging IVs and emptying urinals in the dark. Use a pen light when dealing with blood though, otherwise you might ruin your third pair of white scrubs.
The Ability to Always Look Busy (at least when your boss is around)
Why? Because if you're not busy you will become busy as soon as somebody notices. You gotta take advantage of any "free" time you can get.
The Art of Holding It
I say art because I truly believe that slowly destroying your bladder is an artform. I have become so good at this, that after holding it for half an hour, I don't even realize that I need to pee anymore. Let's face it: some things are just more important than your own personal health, and when you're a nurse that basically means everything. Even sparing 90 seconds of your day to pee can totally screw up your shift if you have a lot going on.
Ok, I have a few more of these, and I was totally planning on making them a lot funnier than they are, but I am too tired to be funny right now. Also, I need to make myself look busy, so I should probably turn off my personal laptop. I will add to the list soon. At least less than a month from now.
Hasta pronto!
H
